Time and Time Again
by Truna
Summary: "So... I wonder how time will unravel this time around." First fanfic. Yay. Negitoro, Luka x Miku. Rated T to be safe. Story updates will depend on reviews and stuff. Based slightly off of World's End Dancehall. Yeah.
1. Chapter 1

_**Ramen noodles and Taco Bell!**_

**Inspiration for ramen noodles comes from my insane and awesome cousin. Inspiration for Taco Bell comes from the shower.**

**So.**  
**If that got your attention, I hope you enjoy my first fanfic ever that might be a two shot depending on school and reviews.**  
**Read and review please, people! :) I look forward to being critiqued. Thankies very much.**

My hands shake uncontrollably.  
Hiccups ransack the room.  
Salty, falling tears mix with ink stains.  
Twisted black ink stains, beautiful in their own way.  
They are as dark as the corruption in my heart.

Trembling fingers put down the pen.  
My pen.

My only companion and closest friend.  
Water runs down the curve of my cheek, past the broken curve of my lips.  
A guttural chuckle bubbles past my throat as I laugh at the irony.  
Friends flocked to me like shooting stars just a few days ago.  
Live friends with voices and human faces.

...then again, it could have be a lifetime ago.

...this voice isn't even mine anymore.

I don't know who I am.

What I am.

Miku.  
I hope you will forgive this "monster"  
for simply stating her feelings.  
I hope you will care about  
my disappearance.

Suddenly, inwardly, I scoff at those hopes.  
I was a fool to ever fall in love with her.  
Relying on her pity to satisfy my death  
would make me an idiot.

The chair creaks, pushes backwards.  
I rise with the old and miserable grace of a wilting flower.  
The pen is set back onto the smooth mahogany wood.  
...that single movement occurs in slow motion with an audible thud.  
Messy pink tresses sway with my movements.  
...severed locks of hair also lay on the floor.  
A pair of scissors keep these fallen,

corrupted

strands

company

against the stony floor.

My head rises and turns to the window.  
Through the water stains,  
dusty fingerprints,  
and cracked panes,  
I can see only freedom and not filth.

Trembling hands pluck the hammer from its heavy and lingering perch on my desk.  
Shards of glass suddenly soar across the room.  
Blood surges from a deep gash on my cheek.  
The hammer flies through the window.  
Parchment fluttering as wildly as my heart,

Eighty-seven words filled with love

hate,

and betrayal

follow the hammer in a yellowed envelope.

...seconds later,

I follow my own words.

Pain.  
My life flashing before my eyes.  
A grim smile,  
eyes wincing  
as my blood fans out against the trashy sidewalk.  
I realize cynically that these few seconds could be a soap opera of sorts.  
Miku.  
I loved and still love you.  
No amount of your cruelty would ever change that.  
...stars bursting with burning pain.

Redness spatters the concrete in front of me.  
I gaze at the redness in loving adoration before  
my vision fades to a set of blue-lined boots  
rapidly expanding in my eyes,  
eyes that widen just the slightest bit  
at seeing Hatsune Miku's  
wailing face.  
...heck, it's a lot more beautiful than her disgusted face,  
but there's no noise, I muse to myself.

Then comes the peace,  
the silence.

...that's when I realize time seems to be moving backwards.

Miku's boots recede.  
My blood rises up almost magically from the ground,  
flowing back into my broken body.  
Something in my chest snaps into place.  
My heartbeat roars in my ears.

I seem to be...

flying.

No.

I'm not flying.

My legs are dangling.  
Feet are numb.  
Toes are dead.  
Arms lay uselessly by my sides.  
Time is really moving backwards.

Then my vision goes black.

**Hope you liked this freakishly short... experiment. **

**I swear there'll be more to come if you review.**

**Thank you for reading the first chapter of my first fanfic.**


	2. Chapter 2

Notes.

Musical expressions.

They resound distinctly,  
simple vibrations bouncing off surfaces you may or may not see.  
Pitiful noises by themselves.  
But they form such intricate harmonies together,  
individuals interlocking in the strangest of ways.

...all Notes have one thing in common.  
They originate from the soul,  
and follow the tempo of your innermost heartbeat.

...your own soul possesses these Notes as well.

Perhaps your Notes may blend smoothly with others.  
A chord.

Maybe they march alone at a leisurely speed,  
always steady,  
always secure.

Or your soul imitates the Notes from the song of another being,  
striving to be just as appealing.

Or your Notes comprise a combination of all three.

For all we know,  
your souls may only synchronize with one other person's,  
and together,  
just maybe,  
your Notes could interchange sweet melodies  
with darkly thrumming bass tones.  
Your two sets of Notes could be enigmas,  
fated to spread their secretive song

for eternity.

In harmony.

Just like us.

...who knows?  
Maybe your song has already ended.  
Maybe your soul is already dead.

But _this_ song is far from over, dear reader.  
Please enjoy our company while you still can.

We'd appreciate it.

_**~-*~-*Time and Time Again*-~*-~**_

Hiccups slurred with sobs break the peace.  
Tears rain into swirls of black ink.  
The blackness is as dark as the corruption in my heart.  
My hands tremble as they pen my final words,  
the sentences that will bring my deepest fears to light.

A lone tear leaves my eye, brushes past my lips.  
I'll be free from the burden of loving her.  
Free from her torments.  
Free from the world.

...I'm not even me anymore.  
These aren't my words.  
These words belong to a monster,  
mutated by time and life itself.

At this revelation,  
the ghost of what used to be a laugh  
gurgles past my throat  
and forces itself past my lips in a grim, choking chuckle.

Rising from my bent position on the creaking chair,  
I burst into a mad snicker.  
Chopped, pink hair sways with my broken movements.  
Dead eyes come to rest on a framed picture of my beloved:  
Beautiful teal hair hanging freely past her waist.  
Captivating orbs of the same color.  
And an innocent, sweet smile.  
The same smile that stole my heart one week ago,  
then crushed it to pieces.

My eyes dart away angrily.  
The last bits of my laugh die down.  
It's pathetic of me to be charmed by her  
even after she's ripped my life to shreds.

...then my eyes return to the picture.  
I'm really under a spell.  
I'm really a monster.  
...hypnotized by clear, shining orbs.

...orbs that blink once.

Twice.

My eyes widen.  
My lips scream.  
Strangely enough,  
silence is the only sound that greets my ears.  
...why is time speeding up,  
rushing past me?

Fingers lined with teal nail polish reach out from the golden picture frame.  
I want to back away.  
...fear petrifies me.  
Slender digits dissolve into my chest.  
They caress my soul,  
drawing out a dripping, throbbing mess of red.

...the red is torn.  
Torn and shredded.  
Hunks ripped off.  
Blood flying through the air in spurts.

...I can only watch listlessly,  
dully,  
as my own heart is destroyed before my eyes  
and the sweet, soothing Notes of a piano  
accompany the redness in my vision.

_**~-*~-*Time and Time Again*-~*-~**_

Eyes.  
Many pairs of eyes,  
some hidden,  
some desperate.

Purple, green, brown, blue, yellow, teal,  
all staring breathlessly at a computer screen displaying a solitary line.

A spike on the monitor.

Two spikes.  
Cheers and shouts of joy purify the room of a heavy and suffocating silence, and I breathe a sigh of relief:

Megurine Luka is alive.

At this moment of my life, that's all that matters in the world to me. In the universe, even.

I brush a few stray locks of teal behind my shoulder, and gather my wits to face the rapidly awakening figure surrounded by medics and scientists.

_Luka... I'll cure you. You won't have to see things to escape anymore. I promise._

___**~-*~-*Time and Time Again*-~*-~**_

**Songs that inspired this chapter: Kokoro, Bad End Night, Shoujo Misui.**

**So. Anyone care to take a guess for the narrators in the first section of the chapter? Or maybe even a guess or two for the owners of the eye colors listed down below. The symbolism is heavy in this chapter. Was it too heavy? Please review. I promise you a fast third chapter if you do. Seriously, I have all the ideas worked out too and I couldn't add them to this chapter 'cause this is a nice ending. I think.**

**Lots of synonyms in here too...**

**And the border thing? __****~-*~-*Time and Time Again*-~*-~? Does it look weird?**

**Anyways, I'm looking forward to being critiqued. :)**


	3. Chapter 3

White dominates.  
Eyes strain as they flutter open.  
Blurriness.  
Light above me.  
Too bright for comfort.

Hazy faces.  
Vibrant eyes.  
Warm eyes,  
blinking with concern, worry, practicality..  
...too kind for comfort.

The muddled hum of machinery fills the room.  
People's voices  
ringing in and around and through my head.  
...a headache.  
Flashes of smeared color appear in my vision.  
The present rushes past me, as usual.

...purple and green hover above,  
darting about the vicinity like angry bees.  
Green's fingers fly furiously against a computer.  
She yells at purple, but her voice comes from the distance.

"Come on. She's slipping back back into unconsciousness."  
...barely able to make out purple's words.  
...muddled consciousness.  
He pivots, a gray-purple blur of hair swinging out,  
facing towards a monitor with a pulsing line.  
Heartbeat.  
But my heart has already stopped, I muse somewhere in the back of my head.  
_Miku took care of that.  
No need for you all to dirty your hands._

I feel my eyelids closing,  
shrouding my vision in a comfortable darkness.  
...if only I could remain this way forever...

"Please stay awake. It will be easier for us to check your vitals."

The voice resounds clearly from right above me.  
My eyes jolt open in surprise.  
Vision clears; I see green's face above my own.

Awareness crashes over me like a tidal wave.

Ears hurt.

Throat sore.

Face aching.

Sterile sheets and a stiff blanket instinctively clutched in my fingers.

Trying to speak, to say something. Anything.

I become aware of air being forced down my lungs,

a plastic mask pressing stiffly against my nose, my chin.

"Relax. It's giving you oxygen," green explains to the look on my face.  
She turns around and yells at purple some more.  
Purple protests, writing.  
...the din sounds slightly muted.  
But less muted than before.

As she turns,  
her metallic name tag catches the light from above.  
Megpoid.  
Megpoid Gumi.

My eyes shift subtly, warily.  
Purple is Megpoid Gakupo.  
...heh, green's brother then.

Then I see brown,  
replacing the fluids in my IV bag.  
Sakine Meiko.  
...more conscious now.  
Needles in arm,  
hand,  
neck.

Blue turns around,  
name tag glinting.  
Shion Kaito.  
He nods in greeting at my observance.  
I appreciate the gesture.  
...I can't nod back.  
Head bound by bandages, feels heavy and leaded.  
Vision half-obscured.

I register that these people saved my life.  
...temporarily ending my suffering,  
if I'm stuck in a hospital bed.

My eyes are guided to a certain figure's silhouette

standing,

tensed,  
against the doorway.

...teal.

Waves of teal,  
cascading in flawless falls down her back.  
Eyes staring straight at me.

Then my body goes slack.  
Muscles spasm violently,  
fingers twitch as if possessed.  
Which I am.  
Tears carve a jagged path down my face.  
A scream I can't hear rips itself out of my throat.

Time takes me by the hand once again,  
and twirls me  
in a never-ending waltz of hallucinations and dreams.

_**~-*~-*Time and Time Again*-~*-~**_

Black fades to red.  
Red fades to my room.  
I stand behind the chair,  
the same chair that supported me when I contemplated my death.

...Miku.  
She is leaning right out of the picture on my wall.

Her gemlike eyes pierce into mine,  
gauging my reaction to my own torn, pulsing,  
throbbing heart in her extended hands.

I follow Miku's crimson-covered fingers  
with unfeeling eyes,  
eyes that sweep past  
the smooth curve of her shoulder,  
the arch of her chin.  
Her gentle smile from the original picture has all but disappeared,  
to be replaced by coldness.  
Unfamiliarity.

My expression is almost unreadable.

Suddenly,  
imperceptibly,  
a flash darts across my features.

Pain,

remorse,

release...

Miku's fingers then continue their agonizing ripping.  
Blood slowly covers the filthiness of my chair,  
window,  
desk,  
pen,  
until all I can see is red.

...red,  
teal,  
and eyes and fingers that ravage through my soul  
until only my core is left.

A gem,  
shining with such intensity through the layers of gore  
that shielded it.  
Miku holds it aloft with a seemingly admiring gaze.

My eyes can't bear the sight.  
I feel myself retching.  
Vomit is quickly swallowed by the scarlet floor.

Then Miku brings her hands in.  
Back into the golden mounting.  
Her eyes close contentedly, dreamily.  
...she holds the gem,

my soul,

to her heart.  
Pressing the brightness against her chest.  
Fingers clasping together as if they'd never let go.  
The last drops of scarlet imprint themselves upon Miku's clothing.

I feel myself gasping;  
from terror or joy,  
I do not know.

Then Miku begins to fade.  
Color leaves her closed eyes,  
peaceful face,  
supple arms,  
and the entire picture disappears.

Only the frame is left.

Eyes.  
Two pairs of bright yellow eyes,  
staring out from the metal.

They paralyze me in their depths.

My apartment begins to crumble.  
The desk,  
floor,  
picture frame,  
they all dissolve.  
Dust fills the air.

I'm choking.  
Gasping for air.  
Can't breathe.  
Can't see anything.  
...except for the eyes.

Like beacons of warm light,  
swallowing me in hypnotizing pools  
filled with the dead and the cursed.  
And voices from angels and demons alike speak to me:  
_"This is your dream, Megurine Luka. And it will never be realized."_

_**~-*~-*Time and Time Again*-~*-~**_

Gumi sighs longingly into her straw, blowing cream-colored bubbles into the frothy coffee. Her cheek leans nonchalantly against her right hand as she stares out the window of Crypton Café. Feet walk by in alternating flashes of dullness and color.

_Things can change so much in the space of a week,_ she contemplates nonchalantly, thinking back to the event that flipped all of their lives inside out.

_They are golden-haired angels borne by cruel devils. And they are fated to surpass time itself, continuing the vicious cycle that humanity began._

_**~-*~-*Time and Time Again*-~*-~**_

_** So.**_

_** Unknown: Yeah, I have a few ideas for fluff and humor. :3 It'll appear in the next chapter, when more of the plotline is revealed.**_

_**Sorry, this chapter was released later than I thought it would be. Stuff and things happened. Yeah.**_

_**Hope you like it.**_


	4. Chapter 4

**MY GOD, it's finally done.**

**__****~-*~-*Time and Time Again*-~*-~  
**

Ah.  
Haven't been scared out of your wits yet,  
have you?

Welcome back to the story, dear reader.  
I hope you find these words worthwhile.

...heh,  
you have no choice in the matter anyways.  
You are controlled by powers above your league of consciousness.

Fate directs all physical beings,  
regardless of race,  
gender,  
species,  
location.

Fate directs you and me as well.  
You were chosen to learn of this story.  
_We_ were chosen personally by Fate  
to oversee the passing of time.

...Luka was chosen by Fate to transcend all universes.

But the uniqueness of human beings  
(among other creatures across the galaxies)  
is that you -  
or most of you, for that matter -  
possess Notes.

Notes,  
contrary to popular belief,  
are not your personality.  
They are bits and pieces of leftover Fate.

Your Notes are your subconsciousness,  
also known as your conscience.  
These Notes filter your inner thoughts.  
They don't rule over you directly.

But Fate controls you in this manner.  
Humans were made to operate according to their Notes.  
Some humans have even been intelligent enough to discover this fact.  
And embrace it, as well.

Fate has left its mark on your world.  
This tale must now leave a mark on Fate.  
On your Notes.  
On Miku's Notes.

_**~-*~-*Time and Time Again*-~*-~  
~a day ago~**_

Redness.  
Color blocks my senses.  
Surroundings are too bright.  
Vivid, harsh language fills my head,  
winding through hacked strands of pink hair  
and into the folds of my mind.

Concrete presses against my back.  
Something warm,  
wet,  
crimson,  
slides down my eye.

"Got anything else to say, filthy dog?"  
Voices destroy me from the inside out.  
I see stars as another shoe drives into my face.

"Get out of our sights then."  
A teal voice resounds clearly,  
gruffly.

...this isn't what it should be used for.  
Teal voices should laugh.  
Be merry.

But not in front of me,  
this filthy dog.

_**~-*~-*Time and Time Again*-~*-~  
~a week ago~**_

I feel myself collapsing onto pavement,  
footsteps leading themselves away from me.

"Miku..."

"Shut up. You've ruined our friendship."

I can only cry as the first of many psychological blows  
rains down.

_**~-*~-*Time and Time Again*-~*-~  
~two weeks ago~**_

...Blackness.  
Whiteness.  
Blackness again.  
Where am I?  
...ah. A wormhole. Again.

Is the Orchestra really that unstable?  
Notes should have kept me out of this mess.  
Should have kept me out of other universes.

Why me, of all people?  
Why does Megurine Luka suffer  
the fate of a Conductor?

_**~-*~-*Time and Time Again*-~*-~  
~a month ago~**_

"Good morning, sleepy head!"  
Teal tackles me,  
unruly hair flying in all directions.  
I lose my breath with a faint "oomph."

"Jesus, Miku. Can you be any louder at this time of day? You'll be the school's personal alarm clock."  
...an impish giggle follows.

A yawn.  
A stretch.  
...mornings are things to be _despised_.

(Yet now I treasure those moments lost in time.)

_**~-*~-*Time and Time Again*-~*-~  
~a year ago~**_

"The ceiling fan...  
Such a hypnotizing object.  
Its sole purpose:  
to spin 'round,  
'round,  
and around again.

Like me.  
Such a boring and repetitive everyday life..."

"God, Luka, you suck at bedtime stories. Remind me never to ask you for one again."

I snort.  
"There was a warning on the label, in case you didn't check the ingredients for my bedtime stories."

Miku flops over on the bed,  
rolling off.

"Nice shirt, by the way," I add nonchalantly.

Miku's skin tone suddenly rivals that of a tomato's.

"Hey, at least I don't have a tuna decorating my PJs  
unlike a certain someone I know!"

"Oh please. I honestly think it's a cute shirt."

"Really?  
Why?"

I pause with a smirk.

"I can see your ample boobs, Miku-sama -"

A pillow barrels into my face relentlessly.

_**~-*~-*Time and Time Again*-~*-~  
~five years ago~**_

Twined arms,  
feet stepping to the rhythms of the shopping mall.  
Purses, dresses, gems.  
Shopping.

"Lukaaa!"

A cannonball drives out the air in my chest with a pained gasp.

"You'll be the death of me, I swear."

"So?"

"So what?"

"How does it look, Luka -  
No, not Luka.  
How does it look,  
Baka-chan?"

An exasperated sigh at the plaguing nickname.

"Okay, okay, you win."

Aquamarine eyes run down Miku's form.  
A nod of approval.  
"It looks nice on you."

Teal gives a cry of pure happiness.  
...another cannonball to the stomach.  
Another strained gasp.

And another reason to live.

_**~-*~-*Time and Time Again*-~*-~  
~ten years ago~**_

"Mama, why is she all alone? Doesn't she have friends?"

"Len, some people are born to be alone."

"But why? Can't I be her friend?"

"Then you'll be alone."

"I won't be alone if -"

"No, Len. You'll be more alone than you'd ever know."

Len, still four years old, found no meaning in his mother's empty words.

His mother knew this.

But she had to try anyways.

Luka at least had to _try_ to save the child

who would be abandoned by society

in the future.

**_~-*~-*Time and Time Again*-~*-~  
_**

**__Really really really really really late update. :( I'm sorry.**

** Unknown, I hope this chapter isn't that clumsy/confusing and has enough fluff. :)**


	5. Chapter 5

Through the dull window,  
dawn breaks through the dark sky.  
The world illuminating under pale light,  
the first birdcall of the day is heard.

...

Gentle strings thrumming,  
flute calls scattered throughout.

This is peace.

True peace.

My mind wallows in it for a while,  
soaking up the silence that I know won't last.

Silence has never been more golden._  
_

All too soon, I feel a scream pushing itself past my lips.  
Blood flies away from my face in red flurries.  
Stains now cover the sterile whiteness of my hospital room.

...Oh.

I've just been stabbed in the neck.

**_~-*~-*Time and Time Again*-~*-~  
_**

"Kaito!"

A young male voice appears around the doorway,  
panting for breath.  
Clear blue eyes,  
though depressed and tired,  
shine brightly with the light of immortality.

In the drably colored office,  
a chair and its blue-haired master swivel urgently away from a desk to face the boy:

"Well? What news? Our security cameras went down a minute before the Conductor was attacked."

"The attacker is a student from Miku's school. He attempted to murder Luka physically, and she entered the wormhole to a new universe not a second too soon. Should we clean up the carnage in her room?"

"Yes, please do. We must hurry if we want to follow her path."

"Understood."

Len then hesitates as Kaito turns back to the table.

"Kaito, sir..."

"What is it, child?"

"How does a Conductor die?"

A long and silent staring contest occurs between dark blue eyes and the smooth, hard wood.  
Kaito flinches at the sound of a footstep leaving the room. And then the words fly out of his mouth:

"...Conductors die when their Notes fade. Notes fade when beings either lose their sense of identity, or they stray from the lines of sanity."

Len's head lowers in shock and shame. "...How long has Luka been alive?"

"Musically, Luka has lived for two hundred years."

"..."

"I know your thoughts, Len. 'Why must Conductors be subjected to this cruel death, a slow and agonizing death by mental breaking?' To answer your question: this is the most efficient way of keeping all universes somewhat tied together, and with the least Musical sacrifice, might I add."  
Then Kaito pauses, closing his eyes while inhaling deeply. "Chaos and I have maintained our positions as the leaders of the Orchestra for this long... because we are strong enough to sacrifice our dearest children. I leave you to interpret this, child."

As Len leaves the room with tears, sorrow, and understand in his eyes, Kaito faces the map on his desk yet again. "Luka, dearest, I apologize for your pain..." the Union murmurs sorrowfully as he observes rapidly changing star patterns on the map. Fingers stiffening with cold resolve...  
"We will try our best to protect you from the harm that Evil bestowed upon you."

Ironically,  
at that very moment,  
Luka's greatest wish is to die.  
Not to be safe.

To escape the role of Conductor,  
the one who links universes,  
through death's cold hands.

**_~-*~-*Time and Time Again*-~*-~_**

Another dainty sip from the dark brown liquid.  
Another flip of the wrist to stare at ticking clock hands.  
Another spark of annoyance at her late guest.

Gumi's feet tap impatiently in the café,  
all thoughts merging into one restless question:  
_How _long_ does it take to jump a few universes across the Orchestra?_

Twenty minutes after the scheduled time,  
all patience dissolves  
to be replaced by recklessness and anger.

_Screw it. I'll just find her.  
_

With an unearthly glow,  
a wormhole opens to the greenette's eyes.  
One step,  
and the world around her disappears.  
two steps,  
and all she can see  
are alternating bands of black and white.

Teeth clench with the grimness of revenge,  
and the simple purity of the need to protect.

_Just a little longer, Rin.  
I have sworn on my life to defend you.  
I will not fail now._

A new universe appears before cryptical green eyes  
as Gumi Megpoid seeks out her foe once again.

Meanwhile,  
not a second too late,  
A pink-haired girl walks into Crypton Café.

And faints.

**_~-*~-*Time and Time Again*-~*-~  
_**

**Ahahaha... I actually have a plot now. And a plan for the next chapter. Confusion will be cleared up, I swear.  
Meanwhile, _this_ chapter is really short, sorry, but it seems like a lot of info was heaped up. I hope you all like it.**


	6. Chapter 6

"_No_!" Hands slam furiously onto wood.

"Careful, Gumi. That's five hundred dollars of office desk right there."

"I don't darn _care_ about your stupid desk! Where is Luka Megurine? I want her, and I want her now!"

"Ooh, suggestive."

The greenette then retorts with a few colorful choice words.

"Yes, yes. We've went over this before. 'Luka has committed nonexistent crimes that she must be punished for!'" Meiko imitates in a high-pitched voice. "Does that sound right?"

"Ugh! For a prestigious ruler of the Orchestra..."

"You're the one who's been arguing about this matter with me for the past ten minutes. Why don't you go get her yourself instead of acting all high and mighty and bossing 'a prestigious ruler of the Orchestra' around?"

The room vibrates with anger, tension, and collected calm.

"Meiko! I can't waste all that valuable time trying to _find_ her!"

"Oh, what a surprise: I can't either."

A foot stomps down angrily, splitting a floorboard in two.

"You're going to have to pay the expenses for that, Gumi."

Green eyes shoot a lethal glare toward unperturbed brown ones.

"Gumi, we can't grant you any wish you desire. We certainly can't stop you from attacking Luka, but by the laws... You know what I'm going to say."

"Yes, mother," the greenette snorts arrogantly, turning away from the desk. "Oh well. It was worth a frikkin' try." A few footsteps later, a door slams shut. Meiko sighs, and the neutrality etched in her features is replaced with pure passion.

"Gumi Megpoid, you are a pathetic excuse for a Conductor."

**_~-*~-*Time and Time Again*-~*-~  
_**

"..."

The warm scent of caffeine.  
Friendly voices.  
Footsteps resounding.  
I'm seated in a chair.  
Crypton.  
The other Conductor's base.

"Excuse me, miss? Are you ready to order?"

I feel the words spilling out:  
A cappuccino.

Why can't I control my body?  
...I jumped, didn't I?  
To escape the blade.  
To escape death.

Ah.  
That would explain it.

No response from my physical self  
is one of the repercussions of my disability.  
My thought processes are now a league slower than the usual.

I'm surprised I haven't gone insane by now;  
both from my love for Miku,  
and from the pain of living.

My coffee arrives  
and numb hands warm themselves  
against the blistering heat,  
ignorant of the would-be pain.

Pain...

Unwanted memories return.  
The sheer waves of agony driven straight from Hell ransack my emotions,  
my body,  
my Notes.

A silent scream leaves my lips.

Suddenly,  
fingers reflexively leave the handle of the mug  
as I feel the stinging throbs throughout my fingers.  
I can _feel_ the clear,  
intense heat now.  
I can control myself.

...It's always like this after I jump.  
First comes the dullness.  
Then the consciousness.  
Then the most important memory of my clone  
in the new universe.  
What a bother.

Rin, it's all your fault.  
This is why I stole Len  
in an attempt to dispel your Evil from his heart.

This is why you became Evil  
in your jealousy and rage.

This is why I fell in love with Miku  
when I had my first jump.

This is why my Notes despise life  
yet live on in a cruel cycle.

**_~-*~-*Time and Time Again*-~*-~_**

"Len, is everything ready?"

"Yes sir. All cleared for the jump."

Suddenly, a phone begins ringing monotonously, filling the hospital office with a dull ring.

"Oh; I'll grab the phone. Hello?"

The boy listens intently to the words coming through with a pale complexion. "I see. Thank you for the notice, Meiko. We'll keep an eye out for her." He hangs up.

"Well? What did Meiko say?"

"Gumi's on the move again."

Kaito's eyes narrow, then seem to sigh with defeat before hardening with new resolve. "We can't do anything to stop her ourselves, so we might as well hire someone else for the job."

Len pales even further. "But sir, we're about to jump..."

"Exactly. We'll direct her to Meiko."

A face palm follows. "She'll be infuriated, Kaito."

"I'm..." The Union shuddered at the thought of an angry Chaos. "I'm willing to take my chances. We can't let Luka die. Not yet."

Len gulps audibly with a nervous nod. What could he do, after all? Kaito has the authority... is strong enough to handle such an insane bounty hunter. On the other hand, Len himself was just a simple soldier. Nothing more, nothing less.

_And definitely not strong enough to save Rin,_ he berated himself._ Never forget that, Len. Do not act rashly. Do not follow in your mother's footsteps to become a heartless monster, a monster with only one goal in mind..._

Two pairs of footsteps echo slightly ominously against empty hospital walls. The hallway reeks of fresh crispness.

_How can such a pure, clean scent appear so disgusting to some?_

**_~-*~-*Time and Time Again*-~*-~_**

** Aha. Killer metaphor in the last line. :3 I'm fairly happy with this chap, despite how long it took for it to come out. Excuse: Finals. x.x**

**Anyways, down to business: I'm considering discontinuing _Time and Time Again, _with all its errors as my first fanfic.**

**It's a pain to think of new metaphors in this writing style as well as follow my complicated storyline and not get anyone (or myself) confused. However, there are four options for me to choose here: I can keep writing and ignore my amateur attempts to conjure up an interesting story without extreme confusion, I can delete the fanfic completely, I can redo the fanfic into a one-shot (with just the first, original chapter remaining) OR I can take the whole thing down, rewrite it, and repost the chapters individually after much hard work.****_  
_**

**If yall don't decide, I'm personally gonna go with either the one-shot or the rewrite. (In other words, I'm gonna either be lazy or work hard, since I _do_ have a rather confusing plot planned out. xP)**

**I also have another fanfic idea (that will hopefully be more well-developed v.v"), so I'm gonna keep writing stuff, for anyone who's interested. Not that anyone _is_ interested though.**

**Gawd. That was the longest author's note ever. And it's 12:40 a.m. So yeah. I may or may not be speaking like an idiot at the moment.**


	7. Chapter 7

Crimson.

Beautiful sheets of crimson,  
spilling out from skin like falling rose petals.

There lies a certain elegance in streams of blood  
that should not be denied.

However,  
this crimson,  
shining with anger,  
grief,  
and death,  
is all that she ever sees.

So Gumi _cannot_ resist the beauty of carnage and murder.

If she does, her life could come crashing down.

Just like Gakupo's life did.

It seems like just yesterday that Gumi's father,  
also known as the notorious leader of the Yamaha gang,  
had spared an innocent woman.  
And had also gotten killed.

Just one week before,  
Gumi's life had been normal.  
Or as normal as it could get.

_Father...  
It hurts, you know.  
The pain fills me every time I see your being  
in a new universe._

Gumi cynically ponders her need for Luka's death.  
Two fingers steadily drive a cloth over a blood-stained blade  
as her thoughts fill the empty room  
that used to be her home.  
Then red fills her vision again;  
anger guides her mind.

_Luka, you had a blade to his throat.  
Why didn't you bring it down?  
Because of your so-called mercy,  
that man...  
that monster of a human being killed Gakupo...  
_

_Because of you,  
the only person I can truly call family  
is dead._

With a flourish of dried blood,  
Gumi flings the stained handkerchief away.  
Rising from her crouched position on the torn sofa,  
vibrant green eyes sweep across the dead body at her feet  
with a contemptible look.

"And that makes eighteen, with three more to go.  
Do not fear, father.  
Your death at the hands of these imbeciles  
you once trusted  
will be avenged."

**_~-*~-*Time and Time Again*-~*-~_**

Strolling down the sidewalk with a slight spring to her step,  
Miku's carefree nature feeds her blithe thoughts.  
The doctors had just informed her of Luka's anticipated fast recovery.

_Though that blue-haired man acted slightly strangely..._

With a shake of her head, however,  
such doubting thoughts are quickly banished.

_Luka will be fine. Sure, she broke her collarbone and has to recover that as well as the injuries from the attempted suicide, but she'll be just fine. The doctors are trustworthy people._

Then the tealette's constant footfalls break for a split second,  
reminding her of Luka's quick change of personality a few days earlier  
as well as her sudden distrust of her childhood friends...

With a frown, she voices the words she cannot say aloud in her mind: _What changed you, Luka?_

The piano continues her contrasting but ceaseless sonata amongst a cacophony of disorganized instruments.

Meanwhile, Kaito and Len walk through an artificial portal to Luka's current universe.

**_~-*~-*Time and Time Again*-~*-~  
_**

_Tongues explored mouths,_

_mouths received tongues._

_Breathy gasps of air briefly halted these heated interactions._  
_Teal and pink clasped fingers,_  
_wove slender digits through hair,_  
_twined limbs lustfully._

Love.

Such a wonderful feeling on the outside.  
So physically pleasing.

Musically, however,  
love is hurtful,  
torturous,  
deceiving.

After all,  
those poor Conductors jump universes so frequently;  
and with every jump,  
they inherit their clone's strongest emotion  
in exchange for replacing them (temporarily) in that universe.

Imagine the Musical life spans of Conductors.  
Imagine the strain of shouldering so many feelings  
from jumping across so many universes.

And this is how Megurine Luka fell in love.  
Pathetic, isn't it?  
That an emotional being such as her  
would be forced into such a pathetic feeling  
just because of an alternate Luka's sentiments from another universe.

And a silly alternate Miku who _allowed_ Luka to love her.

Sadly enough,  
despite the fact that Miku's Notes are fairly consistent throughout the Orchestra,  
they weren't reliable enough to prevent Luka's attempted suicide.

Universal clones exist because of similar Notes.  
But similar Notes do not mean similar personalities.

**_~-*~-*Time and Time Again*-~*-~  
_**

"It's sad, really," Union commented nonchalantly.

"What's sad, sir?" Good and Union, also known as Len and Kaito respectively, are presently located at the Crypton Café.

"That such an amazing café is limited to only one universe. Such a shame," is the blue-haired's reply as he takes a gulp of his interesting drink. "Can _you_ think of another place that actually allows ice cream in coffee?"

Len resists the urge to facepalm. "Kaito..."

"I know, Len. We're supposed to be watching out for Luka's life at the moment. Like always."

"But why is _this_ area specifically not located in any other universe?" the blonde wonders.

Kaito smiles sadly. "Conductors, despite the immense pain they go through, enjoy some privileges as well. For example: Crypton belongs to Gumi. Her Notes helped to craft this place and its mood, from the lights on the ceiling to the tint on the glass." Another sip of the liquid. "Conductors are also allowed any one wish at the end of our lives, which Chaos and I try our hardest to fulfill."

Len's mind is once again filled with mysteries and more questions as his eyes dart to the pinkette sitting on the opposite side of the café.

_I wonder what wish Luka will make._

**_~-*~-*Time and Time Again*-~*-~  
_**

** AHH I FORGOT THE AUTHOR'S NOTE. **

**Anyways.**

**Just finished rewatching the OVA series 'Kuttsukiboshi.' Yuri, hentai, incest, FLUFFINESS. *.***

**And I thought I'd try to clear up the confusion a lil' bit. So:**

Orchestra - the combination of all the Notes throughout all universes

Clone - an alternate self, basically. What happened with Luka was that she fell in love with Miku because when she jumped to a universe and temporarily replaced her clone self, she inherited her clone's love. And the reason why she was committing suicide was because of a harsh rejection of an alternate Miku in another different universe. So all in all, Conductors do a lot of jumping. Luka isn't any normal Conductor though. :3

Gumi is taking revenge for her dead father by slaughtering everyone left in the Yamaha gang. And Luka's her grand finale.

Union, Chaos, Good and Evil are the building blocks of the universe, basically. I'll leave you to interpret the rest of that.

**And I promise to keep on going with this. :3 Thank you for your support.**

**_ watch?v=pD59nWEi4GI_**

**_The above link is Miku's main Note theme. Classical music. Be warned._**

**For anyone who's actually still reading this, THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH FOR PUTTING UP WITH ME THROUGHOUT MY FIRST FANFIC. *bows in reverence of your never-ending patience* And if any of you are Shiznat fans, I have a much better fanfic in the works that'll probably release its first chapter in a week or two. My brother's busy at work helping with the plot line. ^.^**


	8. Chapter 8

_Breaking point:_  
_Noun  
__The moment of greatest strain at which someone or something gives way._

Then what is it called  
when a person has been breaking  
for two hundred years  
without giving away?

The answer is simple:

Being a Conductor.

(Or more specifically,  
being Luka.)

Union and Chaos formed this Musical system with good intentions in mind.  
But out of the Orchestra's trillions of inhabitants,  
there are a few that must take up the burden for all of them,  
and shoulder all their of their strain by themselves.  
These few live life as torture rather than as an experience.

Conductors must undertake the arduous task of leading the Orchestra;  
twining trillions of Notes together,  
organizing the intricate melodies  
that weave the threads of separate universes together.  
To do this,  
they jump.

But with every universe jump a Conductor performs,  
his or her hold on our lines of reality weakens.  
Because they experience so many worlds  
it becomes impossible to tell the difference between them.  
It becomes impossible to separate these worlds by memory alone.  
It becomes impossible to disconnect reality from fantasy.

Even life and death begin to appear the same.

Yet Conductors do not break easily despite their deluded minds.  
Or maybe us,  
possessing ordinary Notes,  
are the ones who are deluded.  
The ones who don't know the truth.

Perhaps Conductors are the lucky ones,  
rather than us.  
After all,  
they have knowledge far beyond our league of consciousness.

Yet they are created for the sole purpose  
of living through emotional breakdowns by jumping,  
therefore closing the distances between universes.

And so jumping is their only source of anything remotely close to happiness.

So, today I inquire you:  
Who is more knowledgable?  
The one who feels,  
or the one who perceives bitter truth?

**_~-*~-*Time and Time Again*-~*-~_**

Black, white, black, white;  
ink records my emotions yet again.

_The most reliable friend I have is lifeless._  
This notion would be found laughable by most strangers.  
Strangers who have never experienced my pain.

I feel hair cascading down my back as I shift position.  
The furious scraping of pen against paper is the only clear sound I can interpret.

Even the incessant chatter of the cafe is muffled.

Head swims with words.  
This napkin is my outlet.  
To write and dream of the actions I can never take.

...my mind isn't always this clear.

This focused.

This sane.

My conscious thoughts, emotions, and fields of vision  
are usually unidentifiably mixed with my unconscious ones.  
I can't even call them ideas anymore.  
It's all her fault.

Sometimes I wonder,  
(or in other words, when I feel sane enough to think)  
why me?  
I had the luck to become a Conductor  
out of the billions of other Note-possessing beings throughout the Orchestra.  
Yet I had the luck to be cursed by Evil as well.  
The chances of both being a Conductor and being cursed must be one in millions.

All her fault...

And before my thoughts are destroyed again,  
my pen decides to write four words.  
The words that are responsible for my life.

_I love you, Miku._

_**~-*~-*Time and Time Again*-~*-~**_

"Kaito, are you sure she's fine?"

"At the moment, yes," is the grim response. "Her Notes are actually the most organized they've been in months."

Pale blue eyes lean in to stare blankly at the phone's screen, trying to make sense of the various symbols representing the Conductor's mental sanity. Then they drift back into focus, slowly aiming themselves at the calm orbs of the other person sitting at the table in the café. "Why in the world is there an app for monitoring Notes?"

The Union responds with a shrug. "When Chaos and Union work together, anything is possible."

Len dubiously shakes his head, relaxing back into his chair. His eyes then dart across the café to Luka's face, framed by frail wisps of hair. Her expression is unreadable, as always.

Kaito follows his gaze to the Conductor. "She's being awfully quiet, isn't she?" A pause. "We should probably retrieve that napkin later in case she has Musical information written down on it and an unwitting human decides to find it."

The blonde's head tilts to the side. "We're humans ourselves in these forms, aren't we?"

"Technically, yes."

A long silence follows between the two immortals.

Then a chair slides back noiselessly as Luka rises, paper in hand, heading towards the exit.

"Looks like she's on the move again."

"Wonderful. More chances for Gumi's unexpected arrivals."

Two more chairs slide back.  
Three figures walk to the door.  
The hunt begins.

Meanwhile,  
a pair of bare feet step solidly down an empty hallway,  
leading themselves towards the door to an office.  
The being inside the office  
detects the walker even before she arrives,  
snorting with contempt when she recognizes those footsteps.

_Kaito and Len will definitely regret even _considering_ calling that crazy kid to help us._

A single, solid

knock

on wood.

"Come in, Rin."

**_~-*~-*Time and Time_ Again*-~*-~**

**Okaaay. So. Got my lazy butt to work. Really sorry for the late update. But now I have everything structured. Yay.**

**A pathetic attempt to clear confusion: In the last few sentences, Rin knocks on the wood (ironically enough) of the door of Meiko's office. So Kaito and Len were referring to calling Rin for help in the previous chapter. Hehehe. Chaos can deal with an angry Conductor, but can never and should never babysit.**

**And any guesses for the 'she' she's referring to? Should be obvious by now, but seeing as my fanfic's so confusing right now... xP**

**If anyone's confused about anything, please leave a remark in the comments and I'll do my best to clear it up through a response in the next chapter.**

**Arigatou-gozaimasu for anyone who's still reading.**


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